Listen,listen,than come and take my hand.

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Stajala sam sama pored mosta na vjetrovitom danu,a usput i hladnom.
Dno kaputa njihalo se,gotovo tako da sam imala osjećaj da ču poletjeti,ali ne,ostala sam čvrsto.
Njihalo mi se čitavo tijelo i lagano sam podigla rukave.Naježene ruke ugledah pred sobom.
Na trenutak ponosna na sebe,ubod od igle je gotovo skroz nestao.
A onda počnem vrištat,lupat masivnim cipelama o pod,čupat kosu,te se naposljetku u trenutku bjesa bacam se na koljena.
Promatrajući samu sebe,ostanem šokirana,zar sam to ja,to čudovište željno droge sve više i više,toliko da gledam sebe kako propadam?
Sada kao ti,žudim za tobom i svim tvojim.
Čuje se plač,vrištanje,jecanje pomješano uz zvuk vjetra,što snažno prolazi kroz šuplju,nedovršnu zgradu.
Kao da osjećam njihovo prisutstvo,mogu osjetit s vremena na vrijeme.
Njihovi koraci ostaju tek lagano u zemlji,neprimjetno za tuđe oči,vidljivo samo za mene,ako poželim da vidim.
Misli li ikad na mene?
Pita me kako sam.Kažem da sam dobro,ne priznajem koliko sam slaba.
«Bože,zašto me ne voliš?» nastavih tiho u suzama koje mi vjetar suši u svojoj punoj strasnoj brzini.
Stvorena sam kao patnik,znam, namjerno sam ovakva,slaba,krhka,povodljiva,zar ne?
Znam da da,znam,očekuju da sada padnem,ali ne,ojačala sam s vremenom,mogu se boriti,mogu nastaviti.

Skinula sam kaput i odložila ga pored sebe,stavila sam na njega torbu.
Drhtim kao list na vjetru.
Bezvoljno gledam u daljinu,u more,koliko uspomena u samo jednom pogledu uplakanih sivih očiju.
No to je površina.A što je iznutra?
Osim riba,osim svih ostalih morskih životinja.
Jesu možda njihove duše koje na ovakvo vrijeme dižu se s vjetrom i hukaju glasno šupljom,usamljenom zgradom,a skupa sa njom,i mojim srcem?
Na trenutak željela sam ispod površine.Rekoh sama sebi 'ne'...
Znam da kad bih zaronila duboko i ugledala njih,ostala bih,a ja sam ojačala s vremenom?
Rekla si mi da jesam...
A ja vjerujem ljudima koje volim.

Gledam visoko gore,u sivo nebo,kako lagano sudaraju se oblaci jedan s drugim,možda gledaš i ti sada,ti naučila si me o ljubavi koju priroda pruža.
Rekla si da gdje gledam ja,gledaš i ti.Da nikad nisam sama,grije me ljubav tvoja.
A zašto se onda osijećam tako prazno?
Jesam li se izjednačila sa crtom,ravnom crtom,nemaštvoitom,praznom?
Jesam li izgubila s vremenom i sa svom boli i sve osijećaje?
Jesam li?
Ili ostala je još ljubav koja čeka na tebe...
Niz liticu,duboko,ako sad odem,onda nikad više.
Da pridružim se njima u plesu žarkom za kojim žudim.
Oblaci i dalje gledali su u mene,smiješila sam se sada ja njima uz suze,uz dozu ironije koju uvijek nosim u svom smiješku.

Ma jebeš sve.
Palim cigaretu,udišem,gušim se u dimu,mislima nestajem do tebe,sa tobom,u neko sretnije vrijeme.
Do jutra.Do kapljice rose na mom licu ja sam s tobom.Za tebe zaboravljenom,s tobom,zauvijek.

Tamo nas čeka,tebe i mene blistava sreća u pola cijene. :)


picture:Louis Royo <3

26.02.2008. u 20:28
° 90 thoughts of the world ° Print ° # °

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comments no/si?

Welcome to Heaven ...

Okay.
Dea,službeno ime,pravo i sve ostalo.
Večina me tako i zove.
Mjenjam često nadimke,a za vas sam ja samo Perfect Insanity.

~volim pisati i zato je otvoren blog
~ne zelim stupidne komentare
~molim komentirajte post

Volim
-glazbu
-pjesme
-crtat
-fotografiju
-bića
-alkohol i duhanske proizvode
-gothic subkulturu
-strast,pozudu
-ljude koji vole mene
-erotiku
-kad me netko razumije
-pomagati ljudima,slušati i davati savjete
-kad me netko ne gleda kao djete
-kišu,ljeto,proljeće
-finsku i london
-žvakače gume
-svijeće
-životinje
-iskrenost,razumjevanje
-puno toga volim ...

Nevolim
-predrasude,primitivizam,mržnju
-agresivnost
-fejkere,preseravanje
-bahatost,umišljenost,sebičnost
-ljude opčenito
-kad netko mrzi jer nemože razumjeti
-kad mi netko laže u lice i znam da laže
...

Sisters of mercy-I was wrong

You say stay and never leave
You say meant for ever
I could believe you, but I don't
You say we're almost all alone together
All alone
You say
You say you will
I know you won't

CHORUS
I was wrong
I was wrong to ever doubt
I can get along without
I can love my fellow man
But I'm damned if I'll love yours

In a bar that's always closing
In a world where people shout
I don't wanna talk this over
I don't wanna talk it out
I was quite impressed until I hit the floor
Isn't that what friends are for?
Pain looks great on other people
That's what they're for

In a bar that's always closing
In a world where people shout
I don't wanna talk this over
I don't wanna talk it out
I was quite impressed until I hit the floor
Isn't that what friends are for?
Pain looks great on other men
That's what they're for

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Bauhaus-Passion of lovers

She had nut painted arms
That were hers to keep
And in her fear
She sought cracked pleasures
The passion of lovers is for death said she
Licked her lips
And turned to feather

And as I watched from underneath
I came aware of all that she keep
The little foxes so safe and sound
They were not dead
They'd gone to ground

The passion of lovers is for death said she
The passion of lovers is for death
The passion of lovers is for death said she
The passion of lovers is for death

She breaks her hear
Just a little too much
And her jokes attract the lucky bad type
As she dips and wails
And slips her banshee smile
She gets the better of the bigger to the letter

The passion of lovers is for death said she
The passion of lovers is for death
The passion of lovers is for death said she
The passion of lovers is for death
The passion of lovers is for death said she
The passion of lovers is for death
The passion of lovers is for death said she

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The 69 eyes-Sleeping with lions
Said you wanted to feel
Cold metal and hard steel
But it cuts in too deep
To see you doing your midnight creep

Somebody hurts you so you're hurting me
The only way it was meant to be
As the lights of neon slowly dim
I can read in flesh
Everywhere you've been

Dreaming of silence
Of the gentle rain
Sleeping with lions
In the temple of pain

Said you wanted to steal
A heart of soul and make a deal
With the danger that you feed
Don't like the monsters that you keep

Somebody hurts you so you're hurting me
The only way it was meant to be
As the lights of neon slowly dim
I can read in flesh everywhere you've been

Dreaming of silence
Of the gentle rain
Sleeping with lions
In the temple of pain.

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The birthday massacre-Promise me

We don't know what time we'll be there
but we won't show up till later
it will all look so much nicer
after all of us arrive

Promise me to pass the time
Dance with me on plastic tears
kiss me We won't feel alone
till morning when we disappear

Though we all want to be noticed
there's no need for competition
Cause there's just no way of knowing
where the camera points tonight

Promise me to pass the time
dance with me on plastic tears
kiss me We won't feel alone
till morning when we disappear

We don't listen to each other
cause we're all too busy talking
we'll tell lies about each other
cause the truth is such a bore
with the threat of dawn approaching
and our interest quickly fading
we will stumble home together
as we did the night before

Promise me to pass the time
dance with me on plastic tears
kiss me. We won't feel alone
till morning when we disappear

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Seraphim shock-Welcome to heaven

Under a witches sky
They cast that spell on me
My d dolls spread their legs
And masturbate ta tease

Then she said... she said

Welcome to heaven
We burn tonight
Welcome to heaven
I'll make ya mine

My sin upon their lips
My kittens start to purr
Like flames tongues beckon me
To spill my lust on her

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HIM-Bleed well

You had demons to kill within you screaming
With a gun loaded with guilt you opened their eyes

Love preys the living and praises the dead
In the heart of our hearts by death we were wed

Bleed well the soul you're about to sell for passion deranged
Kiss and tell, baby we're bleeding well
Bleed well the heart you're about to fail for reasons insane
Kill and tell, baby we're bleeding well'
'In hell

'No love lost under her will', I heard you weeping
And on those words a church was built to keep the pain in

If death is the answer to love's mysteries
Then bleed on my darling to the sound of a dream

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London after midnight-Spider And The Fly

Empty hearts I can hear them talking
I close my eyes and I keep on stalking
my love
my love

no one's aware of the hunger I feel
it's something you or time cannot heal
I need someone to help me rise above

Eternal bliss is something I can show you
spread your arms and let my wings enfold you
my love

In the darkness shades of crimson rapture
the world is ours alone to capture
my love

Come over here and let me tell you something
nothing ever comes of nothing
we pay a price for all our choices made

come along now and take my hand
I'll lead you to a promised land
the morning after may never be the same,
it may never come again...

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Soft cell-Tainted love

Sometimes I feel I've got to run away
I've got to get away
From the pain you drive jnto the heart of me.
fhe love we share seems to go nowhere

And I've lost my light for I toss and turn - I can't sleep at night.

Once I ran to you
now I'll run from you

This tainted love you've given -
I give you all a boy could give you.
Take my tears and that's not living - oh
tainted love - tainted love.

Now I know I've got to run away
I've got to get away.
You don't really want it any more from me -
To make things right you need someone to hold you tight

And you'll think love is to pray but I'm sorry I don't pray that ws

Once I ran to you
now I'll run from you
. . .

Don't touch me please - I cannot stand the way you tease.
I love you though you hurt me so

Now I'm gonna pack my things and go. Tainted love - tainted love

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